20 Signs You’re Dating a Swindler

Dating can be an exciting journey, but it’s essential to stay vigilant and recognize the signs of a swindler. A swindler, also known as a con artist or scammer, manipulates people for personal gain, often leaving victims emotionally and financially devastated. Here are 20 signs that you might be dating a swindler, complete with scenarios and examples of why these behaviors are red flags.

1. Fast-Tracked Romance

Scenario: After just a few dates, they start talking about moving in together or even getting married.
Red Flag: Genuine relationships take time to build. A swindler rushes things to gain your trust quickly.

2. Constant Financial Problems

Scenario: They frequently mention their financial woes and subtly hint at needing help.
Red Flag: Be wary if someone consistently has financial crises and looks to you for solutions. This could be a ploy to drain your resources.

3. Too Good to Be True

Scenario: They seem perfect in every way and say all the right things.
Red Flag: Swindlers often present an idealized version of themselves to gain your affection and trust.

4. Reluctance to Share Personal Details

Scenario: They avoid questions about their past or provide vague answers.
Red Flag: A lack of transparency about their background can indicate they’re hiding something significant.

5. Overly Secretive Behavior

Scenario: They guard their phone, email, and social media accounts fiercely.
Red Flag: Excessive secrecy may mean they’re hiding other relationships or illicit activities.

6. Requests for Money

Scenario: They ask for a loan or financial assistance for an “urgent” situation.
Red Flag: A common tactic of swindlers is to fabricate emergencies to extract money from their partners.

7. Inconsistent Stories

Scenario: Their stories don’t always add up, and details change over time.
Red Flag: Inconsistencies can indicate they’re lying or covering up their true intentions.

8. Isolating You from Loved Ones

Scenario: They discourage you from spending time with friends and family.
Red Flag: Swindlers often isolate their victims to maintain control and prevent others from warning you.

9. Too Many Sob Stories

Scenario: They frequently share tragic stories about their life to elicit sympathy.
Red Flag: While everyone has hardships, an excessive number of sob stories can be a manipulation tactic.

10. Unwilling to Meet in Person

Scenario: They always have an excuse for not meeting face-to-face.
Red Flag: If someone is consistently avoiding meeting in person, they might not be who they say they are.

11. Excessive Flattery

Scenario: They shower you with compliments and gifts early on.
Red Flag: Over-the-top flattery can be used to distract you from their ulterior motives.

12. Sketchy Online Presence

Scenario: Their social media profiles have minimal information or seem newly created.
Red Flag: A lack of an established online presence can indicate they’re hiding their real identity.

13. Refusal to Introduce You to Their Circle

Scenario: They avoid introducing you to their friends or family.
Red Flag: This could be because their social circle is aware of their deceptive behavior.

14. Pressuring for Quick Commitments

Scenario: They push you to make big decisions like moving in together or sharing finances.
Red Flag: Swindlers often want to secure their position in your life quickly before you catch on.

15. Multiple Phones or Secretive Calls

Scenario: They have more than one phone and take calls in private.
Red Flag: Multiple phones or secretive behavior can indicate they’re hiding something significant.

16. Frequent Travel or Absences

Scenario: They often travel for work or have mysterious disappearances.
Red Flag: Frequent absences can be a way to avoid scrutiny or hide their double life.

17. Evasive About Their Job

Scenario: They’re vague about their job or their source of income.
Red Flag: Unclear employment details can indicate they’re not being truthful about their livelihood.

18. Sudden Requests for Sensitive Information

Scenario: They ask for personal details like your bank information or social security number.
Red Flag: There’s no legitimate reason for someone you’re dating to need this information early in the relationship.

19. Unexplained Wealth

Scenario: They flaunt a luxurious lifestyle but can’t explain their source of income.
Red Flag: This could mean they’re involved in illicit activities or living off others’ money.

20. Gut Feeling

Scenario: You feel uneasy or something seems off, even if you can’t pinpoint why.
Red Flag: Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth investigating further.

Conclusion

Dating a swindler can have serious emotional and financial repercussions. If you recognize several of these signs in your relationship, it’s crucial to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from friends, family, or professionals. Protecting yourself is the priority, and it’s better to be cautious than to become a victim. Stay alert and prioritize your well-being in any relationship.