10 Signs That You’re Not Over Your Ex

Break-ups are hard and no one imagines them while in the relationship. It only hits you when it happens that you are actually going through what feels like death – emotionally and you’re barely keeping it together. There are no written laws on how long it should take to get over an ex, but it’s just as easy to fool yourself by saying you’re over them when you’ve just not dealt with it. The list below should give you a hint or two on whether you’re still stuck on your ex and how you can move past it.

1. You tense up when his/name is mentioned

The fact that the mention of the person’s name affects you is a clear indication that you are far from being over them. In fact, if it’s just the mention of the name that gets you jumpy. What more of the person’s presence?? Because of the attachment you had to the person, you are likely to have a few nostalgic moments that will fade with time.

2. You relate to every love song and you connect it to them

If you’re a Metro fm fan on a Sunday afternoon, then you just might need to take a break from it till your emotions are a bit calm. It’s alright to reminisce over a song you both licked but attaching meaning to every single love song you hear will drive you insane. Take some time off from the soppy “I miss you”, “If only” and “I need you” songs and listen to something with a tempo till you recover.

3. You stalk their social networks

Social networks are like the windows into people’s lives. Therefore it’s easy to become the stalker that stands at the window looking in. Cutting all ties and removing each other form social networks is a bit drastic but it does have its benefits. This way, you won’t have to be concerned every time they post something about what a great day they had without you.

4. The break-up is all you talk about

Unfortunately, the best friend is the one who suffers the most when you’re fresh out of a break-up because they need to talk you through the tears, listen to your bickering, and spend weekends with you to cover up the time you used to spend with your partner. Conversations with a person who’s just been through a break up are very predictable. Here’s nothing wrong with this but hey, you need to let it rest eventually, your friend can only take so much.

5. Your heart sinks when you see his/her look alike

Apparently we all have a look alike somewhere in the world, but with a person who’s freshly out of a relationship, anyone with features of the opposite sex is likely to remind them of their ex. Most women have weaves so you are likely to see them a lot in a day. You’re bound to have a very tough recovery if you’re going to be spotting lookalikes and catching feelings over each and every one of them.

6. They are all you think of

Because we invest so much into relationships, your thoughts after the break-up are bound to drift towards the ex a lot. If you knew what they did at a specific time, it’s guaranteed that you will think of them every day at that time for at least a month. If it lasts longer than necessary you might need to find a substitute for that time so that you don’t drive yourself to insanity.

7. Everything you see or do reminds you of them

Couples who live together or spend most of their time together are the ones who have the hardest time when it comes to controlling the direction of their thoughts. A person who is suddenly removed from your space will definitely leave a mark in our life because once they are gone; the space that they occupied remains empty. This is where taking those golf lessons or joining the gym comes in handy. Pick up a new hobby, something you will enjoy and that will not send your mind off drifting again.

8. You can’t talk about them without getting sad or having negative emotions

The most common signs of forgiveness or letting go is when you can think about the person and not feel any negative emotions towards them. Of course there is not prescription as to how long it should take you to get over an ex, but it should be done in a healthy way. Allow yourself to feel angry or hurt and maybe shed a tear a few times. This will help you release all the emotions and in the long run it will get better. You might not forget about them, but it will get better.

9. You see your life as lacking without them

No one imagines a future with a person without a head. Yu see yourself with your current partner and all your fantasies of a happy ending include them. However because life is unpredictable, it might not happen as we see it in our heads. This should not kill your dreams though. When a person leaves, let them, but don’t let them leave with anything of yours – including your dreams.

10. You can’t move on

Jumping into the next relationship after a break up does look like a desperate attempt to erase and replace the ex. But then again, staying single for too long and letting good potentials go is also a sign that you’re holding onto the ex. Take some time off to gather yourself and your emotions and to perhaps put your heart back together again. But when the time comes, stand up and keep walking like you never fell.