Living positively with HIV : Mongezi Sosibo Interview

“It will be very challenging to tell you who “Mongezi is” simply because I’m still en-route my life journey. It is a process of constant learning and every second that passes teaches me something new about myself and makes me a completely different person. I can however tell you about myself from a societal point of view.

I’m known as Mongezi Sosibo, Nonhlanhla Goodness Sosibo’s son. My mother was raped and through that I was conceived, with my step father assuming the role of my biological father. I am a very humble guy who loves laughing, is outgoing and I think I’m funny too.

I’m a Zulu boy, originally from Harding in Kwa-Zulu Natal but grew up in Gauteng (Soweto). Im 22 years old, have five other siblings and study BA Public Management and Governance at the University of Johannesburg.”

When did you find out you were HIV positive?

Friday the first of April 2011 at around 12:45pm in Meadowlands clinic, that’s when I found out I was HIV positive.

What was the first thing that went through your mind when you found out you were HIV positive?

Due to the fact that I didn’t get pre counseling nor post counseling (because the people that were supposed to do that were in hurry to knock off,) the first thing that went through my mind was death. I thought my days in this world were numbered.

After getting diagnosed how long did it take you to accept your status?

I had shingles and diarrhea at the same; symptoms my mother immediately said are associated with HIV. Due to the secretive kind of negative lifestyle that I knew I was living, I went to test already expecting my fortunes to go either way and I told myself that whatever outcome, I’ll accept. And I did just that, I accepted my results on that very same day.

Who did you disclose your status to?

I disclosed to my parents on the phone and to my best friend who had accompanied me to the clinic; as well to one of my then girlfriends. It was all done on the same day (during that hour of confusion!).

How did your family receive the news?

Both my parents were so disappointed in me. They didn’t yell or anything of that sort but it was written all over their faces and I kept on second guessing what they were thinking about me. After about a week of silent treatment, they offered their helping hands but still I could sense that disappointment and tension, it was very awkward but after some time they came into terms with it and started to ask me questions such as,” where did you get it from?” or “Do you see how you have messed up your future?”

You made a decision to disclose your status to the public, what made you decide to do this?

I always cared about people. Yes I was naughty and often fall prey to negative temptations but without a shadow of a doubt I always had this love for people and I always wish that people fully achieve their desired goals in life. Therefore I felt it was going to be selfish of me not to come out of the closet and disclose my status so that people could be warned about HIV/AIDS, I disclosed because I wanted to turn my mess into a message

What would you say is the biggest lesson you have learned being HIV positive?

HIV has taught me how to fully better understand and spell the phrase,” SLOW DOWN”. That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learnt from HIV and I salute it.

Please tell us more about SA Positive Magazine you busy working on?

Positive magazine is South Africa’s only magazine that focuses on those affected and infected by HIV. It serves as an information tool to life before and after HIV. It strives to provide solutions to every HIV related questions you may have. The current issue where I’m featured in the cover is focusing specifically on youth and HIV. Themed Young People’s Battle against HIV, it focuses on young people since most young people or youth campaigns are insufficient and more campaigns are focused around the working class and the older generation at large. The magazine is available on the web site for people to download and there is also a lot within the website that one may find eye catching such as Positive TV, blogs where young people contribute their HIV stories and more.

What do you aim to achieve with this initiative?

Surely the aim of this initiative is for it to reach as many people as possible. Pholokgolo Ramothwala – who has been living with HIV for 15 years and is the founder and editor of the magazine- together with his team will concur with me that the aim is to spread the message throughout the world and get to as many people as possible and its all about changing peoples lives and fighting the positive fight against HIV/AIDS. Myself and two other young people (Annah Mathekga and Tshepo Ngoato) are featured on the cover, spearheading the End HIV Stigma campaign which promotes HIV prevention messages to young people. There is a lot we are planning and people should just watch the space and keep on checking us on the website for new developments.

What are your thoughts on the HIV cure that is being anticipated?

Well one thing for sure, we are not different from those that are waiting for the Messiah. What keeps us strong and going is because we have hope and faith. I believe that a cure for HIV is just around the corner and it’s only a matter of time before it is introduced to the World Health Organization so that it can be scientifically approved and distributed to whole wide world.

Who do you look up to for inspiration and why?

When it comes to looking up for inspiration, I don’t go any further than myself. It’s a public secret that the world has once upon a time dug up a hole for me and threw me deep inside and as a cherry on top gave me lemons whilst I was down there but against all odds, with the aid of the higher being, I have managed to pull out and pull through. I am my own role model and I am my own inspiration and I am proud that.

What massage do you have for youth infected or affected by HIV and those afraid of knowing their status?

I believe that everyone has HIV but it’s just a matter of activation. I came up with the activation and deactivation codes which could make or break your future; it’s just a matter of choice. Fear is an excuse. How could you fear to better your life? Because it’s really very simple, If you are HIV negative, then stay that way but if you are HIV positive, life does not end there. Fight fear with fear by facing your fears.

If you want you want to test HIV positive then I have your 5 activation codes, of which are:

*Unprotected sex

*Multiple partners

*Ignorance towards HIV related information

*Not going for regular HIV tests

*Heavy alcohol consumption

If you want to continue testing negative then I have your 5 deactivation codes of which are:

*Having protected sex

*Refraining from multiple partners

*Not being ignorant towards HIV related information

*Going for regular HIV tests

*little alcohol consumption

How can we address stigma around HIV/AIDS?

Stigma can be fought through unity and having a common goal. For instance, in the past, if you had a disabled child, you would lock him up and keep him away from society but as time went on, people started connecting with their conscious and saw that keeping children indoors simply because of their disability was barbaric and nowadays nobody hides their disabled children, disability is seen as a “normal” thing. Now imagine if people living with HIV took a stand each and every one of us disclosed our statuses? Don’t you think society will start to see, love and recognize us for who we are? Don’t you think we will eradicate the stigma associated with HIV? There is definitely strength in numbers. I believe that common disclosure will rescue us from stigma and I believe that we stigmatize ourselves more than we are stigmatized by society. It’s all up to us as people living with HIV to be proactive

How can people contact you?

Twitter @MongeziSosibo

Facebook: Mongezi Sosibo

Website: www.sapositivemagazine.co.za

Email: [email protected]