Home By Mbe Mbhele
The morning cock that crows at 3am in the morning, the film of smoke at 6am in the morning as the kids prepare to go to school. It is at home that I have been able to find comfort in the little things, things that would ordinarily be regarded as useless. The morning sunlight shines through the cracked windowsill of the rondavel to signal a new day, a day to harvest. The cows stampede out of the crawl competing for the fresh grass with scatterings of dew. I find comfort in the many rivers of my land; I find comfort when I see the rainbow emerging from Umfolozi River. There is peace in my land; there is peace when the sheep are drinking on the crystal lake of Umzinyathi as the water evaporates to the heavens, the Heavens that will later return the waters in times of drought. I find comfort at home
I find comfort in the voices of my neighbours, the caring voices of the elders as they greet each other. It is a routine for them and they do it with love and genuineness. I find solace as I see the SASKO truck moving slowly towards the tuck-shop to deliver bread; I find solace because it means today we will eat. The debt my mother owes the Somalians for curtains has been long overdue, today it is the first Thursday of the month and they are on their way. My mother has to be indoors otherwise they might demand return of performance. The kids will soon return from school and the only thing boiling in the old stove that my father inherited when my grandfather passed away is rice, rice that Mam’ Khoza recently gave us to sustain us till my mother “makes a plan”.
It is at this point that I realize that there is no comfort in the dusty, dry streets of my village. The grass has been growing uncontrollably and we kill snakes as much as we kill roaches. There is no comfort in this dangerous place where there is a gang of marijuana smokers which does nothing but hit on innocent little girls when they return from school. The same gang that has allegedly been perpetrating violence and crime; I find no solace in this place. Perhaps that is why our father left us in this place, a place filled with hunger, crime, drugs and hopelessness.
I have been forwarded a huge responsibility by circumstances; I now have to fill a vacuum left by a man who failed to honour his obligations and duties. I am now a father and a husband. I have to take care of my mother and my siblings and I promise never to betray this new responsibility that has denied me all the joys and experiences of teen hood. I am now a man.
