Dealing With Bullies

1.  Aggressive bullies are likely to abuse physically and without hesitation.
Taunting bullies are verbally abusive (calling names, making jokes, teasing, etc.).

Cyber bullies harass other kids through instant messaging, e-mail, and any other electronic means. There are more specific ways to deal with online bullies. The best way is to delete them and not read anything they say.

2.  Work your way around the bullies. Try and avoid them in school and social situations. Don’t go anywhere near them, but don’t show that you are avoiding them. They will usually read this as fear/success, and they will bully you more as a result.

3.  The first time a bully tries anything, show as little reaction as possible. Do not show the bullies that you feel hurt if they do something that makes you uncomfortable, just walk off. Hopefully this will deter them and they will go look for someone they know they can get a desireable reaction from. However, if they continually target you, and are not detered by your efforts, discontinue this strategy and try something else. If you over-use this tactic, it will backfire because they want to see that they can elicit a reaction from you–typically discomfort, pain, embarrassment–so that they can feel powerful and dominant. To keep on pretending that you are unaffected by them will make you a bigger target as they will feel safe.

4.  On a similar note, do not make jokes at your own expense to try to prove that there is nothing they can do to hurt your feelings. This will only please them, and they will often chip in with their own ridicule and humiliation; rather than cause them to stop.

5.  Sometimes you can reflect an insult back to a verbal attacker. If they are in a group this can make them look silly, (especially to peers and other victims) and cause those around them to laugh at the bully. This is a bully’s worst nightmare, as they are de-throned from their position of power over you (the most common reason for bullying) and get a taste of their own medicine. One example would be if you are singing ‘I am the walrus’, by the Beatles. They might say yes, you are a walrus. But be prepared to stand your ground. Verbal bullies do not like confrontation. (Please note that this is a stupid move for any bully who has physically bullied you, as they actively search for conflict as a primary means of domination. You will probably only succeed in exacerbating the situation.)

6.  You cannot talk sense to an irrational person. Walk away with dignity, saying you have better things to do with your time.

7.  No respectable person wants to befriend a bully. But, if you see them on their own, you could ask why they are picking on you. Sometimes, this will be enough to make them think about why they are acting the way they are. Sometimes they are going through violence of their own at home, but they should be told not to take it out on others. Jerks are usually jerks, and stay that way.

8.  Their companions will be jerks too, but more cowardly, and they just follow the “leader”. Just keep out of their way, as if they do not exist.

9.  Take lessons online or at meetings to give yourself confidence on how to defend yourself and how to fight properly. You will not appear to be such a victim when you walk purposefully and with a ‘don’t you dare attitude.’

10.  It is very important to learn self-defense. It is always better to use the bully’s strength against them, rather than to attack. Should you need to fight, do so with all your strength, not half-heartedly. The defense courses will teach you to do this. There are many martial arts to choose from–pick yours and learn.

11.  You have to keep in mind that they can’t hurt you. They just want to show that they’re ‘powerful’, even though they show just the opposite: They are cowards. Really powerful people show their power in other ways, not by humiliating others that are ‘weaker’ than them. Show them that you’re not afraid of them.

12.  You must always remember that those bullies might just be jealous of you, for all the things that they do is because of jealousy. They only bully you because you have a great talent that they don’thave, so be proud of what you are doing. Calling names is not fun. Actually, what’s deep inside those bullies is they don’t have the guts to do what you do the best.

If there is a bullying survey in your school always write your name down. Do not be embarrassed. You will probably start to talk to someone who is very experienced and this can be surprisingly helpful. You might want to talk to your Mom too. REMEMBER: Never be embarrassed by your situation. You are a normal and good person.

13.  If all else fails start laughing or saying ‘thanks’ when they annoy you. They will often think you like it and will stop annoying you. If that doesn’t work when he says something to hurt or upset you just randomly start laughing at him, or her or if he or she starts glaring at you just look at him or her, wave and yell ‘HI’ really loud for everyone to hear, and he or she might be so embarrassed that he or she would leave you alone.

14.  If you are still being bullied, contact a responsible adult that you are comfortable talking to. It may not necessarily be your mother or father, but maybe your school counselor or a teacher that you really like. It’s important that you talk to someone about your problem, or else it will only get worse.

15.  Bullies usually go for the sweet type of girls and boys! Stand up for yourself!

16.  Don’t be so quick to assume that they’re bullying you with solely malicious intent. That person might like you. Whether it is a girl or boy, they might have a crush on you, and they want attention.