What To Do If You Think A Friend Is Taking Drugs.

Many of us are afraid to discuss serious issues with our friends because we’re scared of being rejected. It is not easy to tell a friend they have a problem.

You can help your friend before something really bad happens. Your friend will probably insist that his or her drinking or drug use is not a big deal. Don’t let your friend’s denial keep you from talking with him/her. If you don’t discuss his/her drug or drinking problem with them now, the friendship might change forever. No one ever thinks that trying drugs or alcohol is going to lead to addiction – no one thinks they’re going to have a problem.

The most important thing is for you to act the first time that you suspect a problem. Don’t make excuses
“If I talk to my friend about his drug problem, he won’t like or trust me anymore.” – If you aren’t going to discuss the problem with your friend, the chances are that no one will. Friendship is all about doing whatever is best for the other person. It’s difficult now, but think about what could happen if you don’t.

“I won’t talk to my friend now because this is his first time using or he only uses or drinks once in a while.” — If you don’t let your friend know what you think about drugs and alcohol, they might think that you’re ok with it. Your friend will probably see that you care and aren’t being judgmental or critical.

Never confront them if they are still drunk or high. Wait until the effects wear off and then approach them. Stay calm and don’t fight with them. Discuss the issues – don’t fight the person.

Privacy: Discuss important issues in a private place where no one is likely to overhear your conversation.

Positive Messages: Start with a positive comment to your friend like “You are my best friend and one of my favorite people on the planet. But I feel like your drug use is changing the person I know and love.” If you’re not the type that can express these types of feelings easily, think about sending an email, SMS or writing a note.

Talk about specific behaviour that makes you uncomfortable or worried: be specific – “when you get drunk and drive, I get really scared”. Don’t accuse your friend of things you can’t prove or back up.

Listen: we all want to be heard but sometimes we forget to listen. Are you hearing everything your friend is saying or just what you want to hear? There may be things your friend feels that you don’t agree with, but remember, they are allowed to feel that way.

Research: Read up on substance abuse and what help is available before talking to your friend.

Solutions: No one likes it when a person points out a problem but doesn’t offer a solution. Even if you don’t know what to suggest, recommend that your friend talk to a caring adult, doctor, SMS 32312 or phone toll-free 0800 12 13 14.
If a friend drinks alcohol, smokes marijuana, or uses other drugs, there is no way to predict how he or she will act, or what will happen when they are drunk or high.

If you decide to talk with your friend about his/her drinking or drug use, you may not know what to say and you may wonder how she will respond. Remember your friend will probably say they don’t have a problem.
Your friend says: “It’s none of your business”
You can say:

“You’re right, maybe it is none of my business. This decision is up to you. The only reason I have said anything at all, is because I care about you and because it feels awful to lose a friend. I couldn’t live with myself if I just watched you and kept quiet. I’d like to help, if you would let me.”

Your friend says: “I don’t have a problem, you do!”

You can say:

“I know I have problems, too. I’ve messed up a lot – I’m not perfect. I just want you to know I’m your friend and I care. Even if you shut me out, I’m not going to stop caring or trying to help you. I’m not judging you. Let’s work on this together”.

Your friend says: “If you tell anyone, obviously you’re not my real friend”
You can say:

“If you were scared by my actions, what would YOU do? Sometimes friends have to get the people they care about the help they need – even if it’s tough. I’ve tried to help you by myself. It hasn’t worked. I think this problem is beyond me….and probably beyond you too. Which is why I’d like to bring in an adult. We both need some help here”.

OR
“Not being your friend is better than seeing you hurt yourself. This is scaring me and I don’t know what to do, which is I why I wanted an adult to know”.
For further information call the 24 hour Substance Abuse Tollfree Helpline on 0800 12 13 14 or use the SMS service on 32 312.