Apologies To The Future

I am sorry future
I could not be the lawyer
you wanted me to be’
I was consistently drowning my disappointments in alcohol
thinking that it would take away the reality
of being a teenage father child who bears
the punishment of her parent’s recklessness

I am sorry future
I could not be the doctor
you wished me to be
I have been living the ‘fast life’
driving in fast cars with ‘sugar daddies’
who made life sweeter than it really is
I party and club all week, proudly so
preaching ‘YOLO’ to anyone who cares to listen
forgetting that with every sunset comes sunrise

I am sorry future
that there are not enough scientist
that there are not enough good leaders in the spotlight
our vision has been blurred by the heavy smoke
of ‘hubbly’ and weed that so fills the air
I am sorry that i could not be
what could aspire to be
I am sorry i could not see not only the challenges but opportunities
that life presented before me
I am trying to come to terms about the enviable fate
and the disease that’s eating me away slowly and painfully
I am sorry that i never really thought of you

Written By Tsholofelo Mathiba

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