10 Tips To Communicate With Your Boyfriend

You love your boyfriend but sometimes it seems like both of you are not in the same page or worse not even reading a same book. Relationships are hard work and when they go well, they are well worth the reward.

When they go bad, their bad but still there are some good moments you can take away from it. What you need to learn is a skill that will help you avoid the bickering back and forth due to lack of communication ever again.
1. Be non-confrontational when talking to your boyfriend. Men often shy away from deep discussion because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing—something that may trigger anger or emotional upset in their partner. Approach volatile issues with an open mind and heart.

2. Wait to open a dialogue about big issues until both you and your boyfriend are in a relaxed state of mind. Bringing up sensitive topics in the midst of an already stressful atmosphere is a recipe for communication disaster. Relationship problems almost never get solved in an emotionally charged exchange.

3. Think like a man. You may feel offended by your boyfriend’s seemingly cold attitude; however, it’s important to remember that men think about relationship issues differently than women. Communicate in a way he understands—practically and logically. Men are hard-wired to be hunter/gatherers, and they will bolt if a woman loses control of her emotions. Men thrive on problem-solving, so make that goal the focus of your communication efforts.

4. Communicate your thoughts and feelings to your boyfriend in “I” language, i.e., “I feel hurt by this issue in our relationship” instead of “You always do this or that.” If your boyfriend feels accused or threatened, he will be likely to shut down.

5. Be receptive to your boyfriend’s personal communication style. Most men do not communicate their feelings for a woman through poetry; men tend to show love by doing things rather than talking. When he changes your oil or puts up the shelves, it is his way of showing affection. Pressuring him to talk in a way with which he has no experience will alienate him, whereas accepting his love language will encourage him to open up more.

6. Stop texting or emailing with your boyfriend. Pick up the phone and call him instead. Talking is more personal and an easier way to communicate. Ideas can be taken out of context in a text or email and cause fights or misunderstandings. Over the phone, you can hear the emotion and tone in your boyfriend’s voice, or you can ask questions if something is unclear.

7. Ask your boyfriend questions when something is troubling you, and don’t just assume things when it comes to him. It’s important to talk about things instead of jumping to conclusions. Use a calm tone, and avoid getting angry without knowing all of the details.

8. Talk to your boyfriend about the importance of being honest. Explain that honesty may not always make you happy, but it is important so that you can trust him. Lies will cause you to question everything in your relationship.

9. Set aside a weekly date night for you and your boyfriend to spend time together. When you schedule date nights, you will have a definite time that you can talk each week. This should work even for the busiest couple.

10. Learn the fine art of negotiation. Instead of nagging him to do something one more time try negotiating with him instead. Don’t grumble that he hasn’t painted the garage yet. Ask him what you can do for him that will make it worth his while to paint the garage. Speak his language and appeal to his own self-interest. That way he’ll understand that it’s REALLY important to you and he’ll figure out what’s important enough to him to match the aggravation of painting the garage. You both give a little. You both get a little. That’s effective communicating at its best.