20 South African Women Open Up About Being Falsely Accused of Killing Their Boyfriends

For many South African women, the trauma of losing a loved one is only the beginning of their nightmare. A pattern of blame, stigma, and false accusations often follows, adding unbearable emotional and psychological distress to their grief. Below, 20 women share their harrowing experiences of being accused—without evidence—of killing their boyfriends, husbands, and even family members.

1. Accused of Poisoning His Food

On December 1, 2023, my boyfriend died just a day after we reconciled. His family accused me of poisoning his food because they assumed I had cooked

2. A Goodbye Note That Changed Everything

“On August 19, 2024, I visited my boyfriend. We were happy, but by Monday, we had an argument. That morning, he called his mother and said, ‘Mom, I’m going far away from this place.’ It didn’t seem like anything serious at the time. Later, I woke up to find him hanging, leaving a note blaming me. I was crushed.”

3. A Mysterious Death at the Stream

“My boyfriend came to visit while I was in school. He followed a neighbor to the stream and never returned. A week later, we found his body floating in the water, swollen. The neighbor who took him there disappeared and has never been found. Yet, I was the one accused.”

4. A Fight That Ended in Tragedy

“On November 24, 2024, my boyfriend died in a fight. They said I started it, but I didn’t even know the person he was fighting. The case is still ongoing, and I am still blamed.”

5. Betrayed by Blood

“On February 3, 2025, my mother passed away after a long illness. I had just bathed her when she took her last breath. My brother immediately accused me of killing her. Later that day, after the burial, he brutally slapped and kicked me, still blaming me. It broke my heart because my little sister and I were the only ones who took care of her.”

6. Blamed for a Disease He Had

“My boyfriend was diagnosed with TB and water in his lungs. Two months later, he passed away, leaving me pregnant. His family immediately blamed me for his death.”

7. A Headache That Led to Death

“On January 13, my boyfriend woke up, went to the bathroom, and suddenly called me. When I rushed to him, he was on his knees, saying he had a headache. That was the last time he spoke. Hours later, he passed away in the hospital. His family was there, but I still can’t believe it.”

8. Accused From Afar

“My boyfriend was stabbed in Cape Town, yet his family insisted that I killed him. The painful part? I was 178 kilometers away.”

9. Waking Up to a Lifeless Body

“Five years ago, I woke up next to my boyfriend’s lifeless body. I still mourn him. May his soul rest in peace.”

10. My Mom Was Accused Too

“My dad died in 1993 due to excessive drinking, but his family blamed my mom. She was forced to move away with us. Even in 2025, my aunt still claims she killed him.”

11. COVID Tragedy and Family Betrayal

“During COVID-19, my baby daddy said he had the flu. We were apart due to lockdown. When I couldn’t reach him, I asked his brother to check on him. He was found unconscious and later passed away. His family accused me of causing his depression and denied me anything that belonged to him.”

12. The Family’s Desperate Cover-Up

“My boyfriend died in the hospital. His family wanted to blame me, but I had pictures and videos proving what they did to him. They got a protection order to stop me from exposing the truth.”

13. A Last Call Before Death

“On November 25, my birthday, I argued with my boyfriend. He called me that night, but I had to charge my phone. The next morning, my sister called to say he had been shot. I regret not talking to him longer.”

14. Blamed for My First Love’s Death

“My first boyfriend passed away when I was 18, and our son was only six months old. I was accused of killing him simply because we lived together.”

15. A Mother’s Painful Accusation

“My father died in a truck accident in 2002, but my mom was accused of killing him. His family mistreated her instead of offering support.”

16. Protected by His Family

“My high school sweetheart was shot near my home, but his family never accused me. They cleansed me and supported me instead. I was lucky.”

17. Accused of a Murder I Couldn’t Have Committed

“Ten years ago, my boyfriend was mugged and killed while I was at work. His family insisted I had hired people to kill him.”

18. Hijacked and Murdered—And I Was Blamed

“Three years ago, my boyfriend was hijacked and shot. His family immediately suspected me, but a year later, his mother apologized.”

19. Shot Dead, and the Neighbors Blamed Me

“My boyfriend was shot, and the neighbors accused me of his death. Thankfully, his family supported me and understood my pain.”

20. Witnessing His Death Didn’t Protect Me

“On February 25, 2018, my boyfriend was shot right in front of me by unknown people. Still, I was accused of killing him.”

False Accusations Leave Deep Scars

For many of these women, the pain of losing a loved one was made worse by being falsely accused. In many cases, the blame came from those closest to them—family members and neighbors who should have supported them in their grief. These accusations stem from cultural and societal biases, where women are often seen as responsible for the well-being of their partners, even in circumstances beyond their control.

The emotional trauma of being falsely accused can last a lifetime. It leads to stigma, social isolation, and even legal battles. For some, their names may never be cleared, while others live with the pain of knowing that their loved ones’ families will always see them as guilty.

Despite it all, these women continue to tell their stories, hoping to break the cycle of blame and bring awareness to the unjust accusations faced by so many.

If you or someone you know is dealing with false accusations and grief, reach out for legal or psychological support. No one should have to suffer blame for something they didn’t do.