10 Ways To Deal With Difficult In Laws. It is not always a smooth ride when dealing with a new family that you did not grow up with. Some in laws can go an extra mile to make your life a living hell. The following 10 tips will help you to cope with in laws who do not appreciate you.
1. Consider Their Background
Your in-laws were born and raised in a different environment than you. They come from a different generation at very least, and possibly from a different place or different ethnic, religious, socio-economic, or political background.
2. Understand Their Attachment To Your Spouse
Your spouse is their little boy or girl, and always will be, no matter how grown up. Especially if you have your own young children, think about how difficult it will be to “let them go” as adults someday.
3. Give It Time
Marriage is a big change for you and your spouse, and it is the same for your in-laws. Everyone needs time to adjust, and some rough patches in the adjustment period should be expected
4. Find Common Ground
No matter how different you are from your in-laws, there are surely some shared interests. Focus on these commonalities; this small bit of ground can grow and change your relationship.
5. Talk To Your Spouse
He or she is used to her parents’ quirks and foibles, and may be unaware of how they bother you. Be honest but diplomatic in sharing your concerns.
6. Work As A Team
Even if your in-law’s behavior bothers you and not your spouse, establish that you need to present a united front in broaching the subject. Your in laws are more likely to respond positively to comments and suggestions that come from their own child, or at least with his / her clear support.
7. Agree To Disagree
Yes, saying “We’ll have to agree to disagree” might seem too cliché, but sometimes it is the best way to go. You don’t agree on everything with your spouse, and you certainly won’t with his/her parents, so accept that fact and move on when feasible.
8. Realize When Enough Is Enough
If your in-law’s insults or interference is taking a big toll on your self-esteem or your relationship with your partner, and more diplomatic methods have failed, it is probably time to get some distance.
9. Know When To Throw In The Towel
In the worst-case scenario, you just may have to cut off contact with your in-law(s). This is a drastic step, but if it salvages your marriage and/or your sanity, it is worth doing.
10. End Interactions With Your Children, If Necessary
If your in-law’s behavior is having a negative impact upon your children, do what is necessary to protect them, including limiting or cutting off contact.
