10 Things You Should Avoid Saying To A Newly Single Person
Trying to regain your life from a breakup is one of the testing times one can go through. If you’re going through a breakup, or have ever gone though a breakup, then you know the unhelpful advice and undermining comments to avoid. A word said without thinking can hurt the person even more than the breakup itself. Here’s what to avoid saying with the newly single.
1. What Happened?
It’s so tempting to want to know every detail of your friend’s breakup. But her heartache is not a new reality TV show to binge on. Unless she offers the details, don’t pry. Constantly rehashing the saga doesn’t help her heal. And it ultimately doesn’t matter what went down, but only that she knows she is loved and life will get better.
2. I Always Knew.
Yes. We all knew he (or she) wasn’t worth it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she cared and hoped for the best. Your intuition about the ex does not soften the hurt, and can actually cause more pain and create a wedge in the friendship. The breakup is not an opportunity to confess all your thoughts on the relationship or her choice in a partner.
3. Let Me Hook You Up.
It’s tempting to want to help your friend back on the single scene, but being inundated with new people as you process a breakup can be a lot. Don’t rush her back on the meet market. Instead offer to hang out together and do things she enjoys.
4. It’s A Good Time To Be Single.
The warmer months are full of events and opportunities to meet new people. But when you are freshly out of a relationship, dating can be daunting and the last thing you want to deal with. Keep the focus on love and joy not being tied to her relationship status.
5. Did You See What He Posted?
By now you have helped her digital detox from the ex. Don’t poke the wound by updating her on his shenanigans unless directly involving her. Even if you see your, friend’s ex at the mall, do not let your friend know that while it is still fresh.
6. At Least We Get To Hang Out More.
Making her pain your gain won’t get you far. Even if she broke it off and it was the right thing to do, doesn’t mean there is not sadness. She also doesn’t need guilt for not being around as much on top of heartache.
7. Silence.
Don’t ghost on her. Even if you don’t know the exact words to say, your presence means plenty. Keep messages focused on her: I love you. Thinking of you. Remember the sexy guys we met in town? Can we do brunch Saturday? Keeping your love for her top of mind will guide you to say the right things.
8. You Will Meet Someone When You Least Expect It.
This comment will definitely be at the top of the list for many newly single people. It is overused because it can be true. Lots of people do genuinely meet someone they love when they least expect it. But here’s the thing, telling a single person that they will meet someone when they least expect it is simply not helpful.
9. You Will Have More Time On Your Hands!
Yes, single people definitely do not have the time demands of spending time each day with a spouse. But most single people have other demands on their time, thanks to their wonderfully full lives. They do not sit around all day with endless “time on their hands” watching rom coms and twiddling their thumbs waiting for their time to come.
10. I Never Liked Him Anyway.
She’ll wonder about your fake adoration for him while they were together. Instead say: “I’m confident you’ll find someone who will give you exactly what you want.” It focuses on what’s to come, not on the dud you’re glad she’s done with.
