In that first month of dating, even the coolest guy can only play it cool for so long. If he’s serious, he’ll drop hints. During this month, the grey area is likely to turn into a solid colour, White if its getting serious, and black if it was just fun and games. Here’s how to spot the signs of the relationship heading towards a serious direction.
1. He expects that you have plans even when you don’t make them
In the beginning, he asks, “What are your plans for this weekend?” to see if you’re available. When he’s serious, he asks, “What are our plans for this weekend?” because he just assumes you’ll want to be together. Words such you, me, and I all turn into I.
2. He brings you along to his regular activities
Taking you to a big deal event like a wedding is, of course, an important sign in its own right. But for stuff like that, people expect him to bring a date, and plus, that’s only for one night. On the other hand, if he’s bringing you to a usual thing he does frequently, like to his weekly Sunday-night dinners with his friends, he’s doing it because he wants to and because he plans to have you around for a long time.
3. He talks about you when you’re not there
Especially to people who matter. “Once when we were first dating, my boyfriend mentioned off-handedly that he’d shown my picture to his parents,” says a friend of mine. Four years later, both he and his parents still love her.
4. He makes room for you and expects you to do the same
It might be a cliche since the time Carrie Bradshaw unsuccessfully tried to leave a hair-dryer at Big’s, but most guys seem to agree: If they’re intentionally leaving a toothbrush at your place or offering you drawer space at theirs, they mean business.
5. He stops trying to impress you quite as much
You certainly don’t want a guy who takes you for granted, but hear me out. A guy who’s always on his best behavior is still in the stages of trying to win you over. That stage is fun, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sure about you. A secure guy will let you come over when his bed isn’t made or disagree with you about that movie you loved even if it makes you mad. If he still makes you feel special and loved but does so while letting you see that he’s just a regular human with bodily functions and a few bad habits, it’s because he thinks you’re the right one for the real him.
6. You’re (almost) always together
In case this is not possible, you grab every chance to spend time with each other. You always have things to share, or simply revel in that glorious thing called companionable silence.
7. “This is my boyfriend/girlfriend”
When you introduce each other to friends and colleagues as your better half, you know something serious could well be taking form. Not many people go around publicising their “relationships” with sex friends or losers they’re ashamed to date but date anyway.
8. You value each other’s opinions
When faced with issues regarding your career, family, friends — and of course, your relationship — you take important decisions together. You talk about things and then come to a consensus, as opposed to a situation where you decide all by yourself and coolly him or vice-versa.
9. At home in each other’s homes
His pad could well be a second home for you, and vice-versa. If you’ve gone as far as exchanging keys, you might just be exchanging rings/vows soon.
10. The future has been discussed
You’ve spoken about moving in together or getting married at a certain point in the future. Even about holidays you’ll take together, the kind of home you’ll live in, your kids’ names and the likes.
Mbali Radebe
