He beats me all the time but I feel bad for leaving him.

Hi I thought I would never be in this mess again ,but I really need advice I’m so ashamed to talk to a friend or a family member about this .(excuse my spelling a bit drunk ) ….Well here goes!! I’m 22 married to a man that I really love but I’m so scared of him ,he beats me almost every day , I know this sounds stupid and I shouldn’t think like this if he would just give me a slap and nothing else I would forgive him but he don’t ,he beats me with belts and burns me with fags and his joint , he locks me in the house with him not allowed to move until he is finish beating me or arguing with me , he tried to drown me in the bath ,he bites me ,pulled all my hair out ,scared me on the for head ?(by throwing his blackberry at me) I have had 3 black eyes since I’ve been with him but like a fool i still love him ….I cook and clean for him do everything I can do i gave up my job for this marriage now its all goes so wrong I feel like I’m a slave but love him ..He says he love me but how can he love me??? or maybe I’m just a fool …well he beat me on new year’s eve and new year’s day and today I’ve left him but feel so guilty …..Why?? …I really don’t know what to do anymore i am not the same person any more I feel like killing myself? Is this normal?